Ok I wasnt sure whether to make these things public or not. I have only shared them with a small handful of people but after reading the story about Savannah Dietrich and her rape I felt inspired to share my story, not just for me but to let others know that there is someone like this out there. I'm not the only one who has suffered under this person either. I have never shared these details due to this person threatening me with both physical harm, being sued and their very chavy, thug family. His name his James William Harris. He is my ex-boyfriend, and before anyone thinks I am a crazy ex who is trying to get back at someone months later I can assure you that I am not. I have the scars and witnesses to prove it. I am perfectly alright with dealing with breakups, I've had a few and I am rather mature when it comes to dealing with them. I wont just tell my story, I'll share what he has done to others as well.
I was in a relationship with him for seven years and over that time I suffered extensive abuse which was psychological, physical and sexual. I wasnt allowed to see my friends (if any of my uni mates are reading this it is the reason why I havent really been out with you guys until recently), I would have my phone confiscated from me the moment I was in the house, I wasnt allowed to wear certain items of clothing, I wasnt allowed to go more than a few hours without talking to him, I was accused of sleeping with my friends and random strangers, I was called names ranging from bitch to things like cunt or slut, he would try to stop me from seeing my family and tell me lies about my friends and family to make me angry at them so I wouldnt want to talk to them any more, he wouldnt let me get medical treatment and would tell me that my mental illness was just something I made up to make him feel guilty for how he treated me. When my rabbit died he told me "you expect me to care about your pain? It was just a pet it isnt like you lost a child". I would be expected to make his dinner every day and if I had to spend a day with my family he would claim to be starving to death because I wasnt there to feed him. I wasnt allowed to leave the bedroom while he was talking to people in other rooms of the house and I failed several uni exams because he wouldnt let me study. I had to do uni work in his presance and still be expected to make his food and give sex on demand.
As well as that list of emotional things I was subject to: being choked with a chain, being cornered and threatened to be punched in the face, having his initials carved into my stomach, being tied up & left on the floor, having my clothes cut up, having my hair pulled, he sprained my wrist, slapped me across the face and having my shoulder sprained from being twisted behind my back.
I dont want to go into too much detail about the sexual abuse. I hate doing it but since I was inspired to do this by the story of a rape victim I think I might share some of it, but not in graphic detail. While with him I was expected to have sex, whether i wanted to or not. He's even done it while I was asleep. I can officially say that I have been raped that many times that even being touched today makes me mentally shut off and "go to my happy place". The worst case was on Saturday the 5th of November 2011. I was at a friends party and me and him were already split up and he had a new girlfriend. Because he had someone I didnt mind sharing that I liked someone and that I was thinking about asking them out. A few hours later I went to the bathroom and while I was washing my hands he came in and told me that he wanted me and that it would be his last chance before I got someone else. I told him no and that i didnt like him in that way and I reminded him that he had a girlfriend. That didnt matter. I was taken by force and I couldnt scream as he threatened to hit me and I didnt want my friend finding me in such a position. He admitted days afterward that what he did was wrong and I was threatened to keep my mouth shut, it has tormented me ever since, I even get flash backs and I have no evidence to report it to any one. I only have scars from the physical abuse.
I know a lot of you are going to wonder why I put up with such abuse before he kicked me out but it is hard to explain, if anyone has went through an abusive relationship before you will understand what I mean. It is almost impossible to get away.
This isnt just about me. I'm not the only one and I wont give out the names of the other people. But I'll give you a list with nicknames of people he has hurt that I have witnessed or heard about.
Con guy: This person was a man that my ex met at a convention. He was gay and James flirted with him, kissed him and led him on to the point that this man broke up with his boyfriend for him. After he destroyed that relationship James told him that he really didnt have feelings for him and that he was only messing around.
Internet girl: This woman was american, married and had children. She met James through rping and he started flirting with her. The two then started to form an online relationship and he even told her that he loved her and the two exchanged sexual images etc. He did this only so she would send him things he wanted off ebay and amazon, which he convinced her to order for him. He had her so infatuated with him that she did was she was told and spent hundreds of dollars on him. She even left her husband as she claimed to be that in love with James. He then just stopped talking to her.
Model(s): Over his time as a photographer there have been several models who have came forward and accused him of touching them inappropriately and making unprofessional comments to them while on photo-shoots.
Girl: This one happened at a party where he pinned her to a bed and told her that she is only gay because she hasnt had good enough sex with a man. She shoved him off but she was shaken up.
Others: I've also heard stories, from him, that he has been accused of other indecient things with women and girls to the point of being questioned by the police.
I am not making these things public as revenge of any kind. I personally believe that success and happiness is the best kind of revenge, but I needed to share my story somewhere. It was building up inside me that I just had to let others know that there is someone out there who is like that. I am not being threatened into silence any longer. A person who does things like that shouldnt have a happy ever after while the people that they hurt are left hating themselves, frightened and dealing with the emotional trauma that comes with such abuse. I have to live with it every day. I wish I had left him a long time ago and I am stronger from what I have been through. No one should have to put up with such treatment and I am glad to say that I am mainly recovered from it. This is the last step. Breaking the silence.
No comments:
Post a Comment