I would write a whole blog explaining what has happened since I last posted but it is best if I didn't.
So at the moment I have quite a bit of free time on my hands in between placement hunting or potential full time job hunting, sadly the employment market is lacking lately, leaving me a little bored. I don't do well with boredom and it rots my mind, robbing me of my ability to properly think logically or concentrate. On the plus side I have been using my free time to learn to drive and after Christmas I shall be learning the violin. My driving is coming along quite well and according to my instructor I am a fast learner. I just hope I am as quick at picking up the violin.
As I'm now single Jack dragged me to a local bar last weekend and bought me enough drink to intoxicate the entire pub, twice. It was a good evening, even if I have no idea how I ended up in another bar and I woke up the next morning with a stamp on my wrist for a place I don't remember being in. Well at least I got home safe and sound.
To be honest I don't see the point in taking someone out because they are single, especially when that person has no interest in a relationship. At the moment I classify myself as being married to my work (when I get some) and my writing. ...OK that is a bit of a lie, there was someone, and I quite miss fluffing their hair. I'm not annoyed that it was short lived. The reasoning behind the decision to remain platonic was perfectly logical and I accept that. It is just when I think about it that relationship could have had a lot of potential, even if I have the social skills of a teaspoon when it comes to that sort of thing.
I am looking forward to Christmas though. I might even bake a few things for people.
Tuesday, 29 November 2011
Sunday, 31 July 2011
Summer Blog (5)
I thought I would update this while watching CSI reruns.
Well there has been a few new things since I last wrote one of these. I had a job interview for a web design company in town. I think it went well. The interviewer was pleasant and kept ranting about how good my grades are. I always find interviews a little bit of an ego boost, either that or I just love talking about myself. Also the best part is that they have two offices, one here and one in London. Whenever she told me that I could transfer to their London branch I almost jumped across the desk and hugged her. The sooner I get a job the sooner I can move out of my house, as my family situation hasn't been the best at the moment, not to mention I just want to leave and get my own grown up place.
Will is currently organising a trip to the US for himself next year. Sadly I am being left here by myself. I don't really mind but I get bored easily and I will have to try and find a way to occupy myself for a week.
By the way did you know that you can buy human skulls on ebay? If you don't believe me look it up yourself.
Well there has been a few new things since I last wrote one of these. I had a job interview for a web design company in town. I think it went well. The interviewer was pleasant and kept ranting about how good my grades are. I always find interviews a little bit of an ego boost, either that or I just love talking about myself. Also the best part is that they have two offices, one here and one in London. Whenever she told me that I could transfer to their London branch I almost jumped across the desk and hugged her. The sooner I get a job the sooner I can move out of my house, as my family situation hasn't been the best at the moment, not to mention I just want to leave and get my own grown up place.
Will is currently organising a trip to the US for himself next year. Sadly I am being left here by myself. I don't really mind but I get bored easily and I will have to try and find a way to occupy myself for a week.
By the way did you know that you can buy human skulls on ebay? If you don't believe me look it up yourself.
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
Summer Blog (4)
I love how "blogging every day of summer" has became "blog when ever I bloody remember too".
Any way I'm not in the mood to writing anything serious for this thing I just felt like writing a blog and my other blog requires actual thinking and I'm not in the mood for that.
I'm pretty sure this summer I have mastered new levels of procrastination. Within the last week, rather than finishing off work I was supposed to be doing, I have been making collages and added a mad hatter's tea party table into my bedroom. It takes a long time to wash out all the cups but its worth it. Everything tastes better out of a cup and saucer, even coke cola. ..yeah this is when new blog followers realise I'm a bit weird. Welcome to my world new people!
Speaking of weirdness I have picked up a new writing habit. I dont know how I developed this one but it is already added to the growing list of things I have to do while or before writing.
Here's my current list:
Memo to self: Buy a pipe
Any way I'm not in the mood to writing anything serious for this thing I just felt like writing a blog and my other blog requires actual thinking and I'm not in the mood for that.
I'm pretty sure this summer I have mastered new levels of procrastination. Within the last week, rather than finishing off work I was supposed to be doing, I have been making collages and added a mad hatter's tea party table into my bedroom. It takes a long time to wash out all the cups but its worth it. Everything tastes better out of a cup and saucer, even coke cola. ..yeah this is when new blog followers realise I'm a bit weird. Welcome to my world new people!
Speaking of weirdness I have picked up a new writing habit. I dont know how I developed this one but it is already added to the growing list of things I have to do while or before writing.
Here's my current list:
- I cant write with my hair down.
- I have to use a red fountain pen. I use a particular brand but I cant remember it at the moment.
- I have to have music to set the scene.
- No one must talk to me while I'm writing.
- Holding a fake cigarette in my mouth helps.
Memo to self: Buy a pipe
Sunday, 12 June 2011
Summer Blog (3)
My quest to blog every day of my summer has been a little faily since I missed the last few days. Well since my last two, rather depressing, posts things have picked up a little. I have been a bit more productive and I have been hunting for odd jobs to keep myself occupied in my free time, not to mention to earn a bit of cash for the conventions I am attending in the up coming months.
I am back to writing again, well the research part of it any way. I have been trying to come up with a name for a new character so I have been pouring through my Maglish dictionary in order to come up with a suitable name. Maybe something to do with numbers? I'm not too sure yet.
I'm supposed to go to a meeting tomorrow. I really don't want to go and I cant be bothered with it. Not to mention I need to check the date of the mentoring event I am supposed to be signed up for next week. Oh how I love those things, I get paid to turn up and pretend to be smart. Being a genius doesn't mean I act like one.
I am back to writing again, well the research part of it any way. I have been trying to come up with a name for a new character so I have been pouring through my Maglish dictionary in order to come up with a suitable name. Maybe something to do with numbers? I'm not too sure yet.
I'm supposed to go to a meeting tomorrow. I really don't want to go and I cant be bothered with it. Not to mention I need to check the date of the mentoring event I am supposed to be signed up for next week. Oh how I love those things, I get paid to turn up and pretend to be smart. Being a genius doesn't mean I act like one.
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
Summer Blog (2)
Today I was depressed. I blame my search for inspiration on my depression as I have been thinking too deeply into the source of my creative block. I am still blaming the amount of drama that I have been dealing with the last month or so. I wouldn't have minded but today, whilst I was contemplating things my phone kept going off with people messaging me about their problems. I have came to a conclusion. I no longer care. I'm fed up being the one stuck between people bickering and listening to them whine about each other. I just cant handle the stress any more.
And...after a rather long period of depression I baked lemon, low fat cup cakes. Baking usually makes everything better. I think it is just because I am doing something productive instead of sitting around whining that it helps me clear my head and improve my mood. Also imaging your eggs are the heads of people who annoy you while you're cracking them helps as well.
I am back to being addicted to batman the animated series. Also I now have all four box sets of the cartoon to keep myself occupied throughout the summer.
And...after a rather long period of depression I baked lemon, low fat cup cakes. Baking usually makes everything better. I think it is just because I am doing something productive instead of sitting around whining that it helps me clear my head and improve my mood. Also imaging your eggs are the heads of people who annoy you while you're cracking them helps as well.
I am back to being addicted to batman the animated series. Also I now have all four box sets of the cartoon to keep myself occupied throughout the summer.
Monday, 6 June 2011
Summer Blog (1)
I'm just going to call these summer blogs because I suck at coming up with titles for random stuff. Well I came up with the bright idea to blog throughout the summer, even though I think I am going to get bored like I usually do or distracted by something shiny. I realise that most of these blogs will be me whining about my diet or writing but I thought it would be an interesting thing to do none the less.
One the topic of my diet, I discovered today that I have dropped two jean sizes since I started a month or two ago. The one down side I have found to all this weight loss is that a lot of my favourite clothes don't fit as well as they used too. Things that were once close fitting and flattering are now rather baggy and annoying. Sadly I am having this problem with my favourite t-shirt. But even with the loss of some of my favourite clothes I have been enjoying watching the little weight graph on my wii-fit go down. Though I must admit I am mainly doing this for cosplays, as well as myself.
The amount of writing I have been doing lately has defiantly dropped. I blame the boredom of proof reading my novel and the general amount of drama I have had to deal with personally over the last few months on my lack of inspiration. Peace is impossible to find and when I do there is usually someone there to ruin it on me. I guess I shall have to start a quest for inspiration this summer.
One the topic of my diet, I discovered today that I have dropped two jean sizes since I started a month or two ago. The one down side I have found to all this weight loss is that a lot of my favourite clothes don't fit as well as they used too. Things that were once close fitting and flattering are now rather baggy and annoying. Sadly I am having this problem with my favourite t-shirt. But even with the loss of some of my favourite clothes I have been enjoying watching the little weight graph on my wii-fit go down. Though I must admit I am mainly doing this for cosplays, as well as myself.
The amount of writing I have been doing lately has defiantly dropped. I blame the boredom of proof reading my novel and the general amount of drama I have had to deal with personally over the last few months on my lack of inspiration. Peace is impossible to find and when I do there is usually someone there to ruin it on me. I guess I shall have to start a quest for inspiration this summer.
Monday, 4 April 2011
Poetry
Je Suis Tombé Par Terre
I stand upon the brink crest fallen,
For the abyss before me it has callen.
Do I leap? Do I reject the grass from beneath my feet?
As I stand betwixed both life and death
What is fate?
Fate, oh fate, what wondrous angels will you bring me?
To sing a song of rest upon me,
As their downy wings caress my face as I fall into their soft alabaster arms onto thy rest.
Or fate, sweet fate, will you bring me devils?
With wicked flames to lick and devour my flesh,
As I scream in torment a most vivid living hell.
For if I jump I will burn,
Because jumping is the prefix to burning.
As the abyss is never as empty as it seems,
For devils bring emptiness in their eyes to temp us mortals to leap to our demise.
When bones do break and tears do fall
The devils dance and angels fall,
I find myself once more upon the grassy brink.
Will I leap or continue to fall?
Rose Woman
She lays naked on a bed of roses.
Her dark hair entwines with their thorns.
Her lips, parted like the sweetest bud.
They are just as soft and as rare.
Her eyes shine like tear drops of dew,
Just as deep and twice as blue.
To every man a woman is a rose,
Delicate and beautiful with deadly poison thorns.
The Lake
Standing alone in the desolate place,
Gazing at my image upon the frozen lake,
I quiver beneath my bodice as the snow burns my skin.
I see a blacken shape appear beneath the ice,
Its hair flows free about its face
And deathly staring eyes.
I emit a gasp and break the ice
Freeing the dammed soul.
Her hand reached out and took my wrist,
And in one pull it was done,
Because that is when I met my fate,
By the lake so long ago.
Love: the Death of Souls and Sanity
My heart leaps, the pounding about my ears and chest fills me with such nauseating joy
That butterflies rebound themselves against my innards.
Is this love? Or a strange maddening disease which has been inflicted upon me by another person?
For if love existed would we be so quick to tangle ourselves in the presence of another?
To wear masks of joy and prospect when all we feel is death,
Death, loneliness and despair, the only true emotions that a true human can feel.
Not love,
Love in all its sickeningly sweet dreadful glory.
Forcing us to sell our souls to mortal devils who would see us fall and perish all in the name of love.
But who could we live without love, and the way it makes our lives feel desired and priceless?
How it makes every black, dismal and curse ridden day more bearable, liveable.
If love is to both heal and destroy us why we were not warned?
Warned against such foolish actions and emotions such as love, joy and attachment.
Instead of allowing us to become mindless creations obsessed with causing ourselves heartache.
Why allow us to continue the torment of love?
To seek refuge in mortal gods who would eventually harm us for their own enjoyment and wellbeing.
Are we mad? As love is the only madness that could infect the sanest of people.
I stand upon the brink crest fallen,
For the abyss before me it has callen.
Do I leap? Do I reject the grass from beneath my feet?
As I stand betwixed both life and death
What is fate?
Fate, oh fate, what wondrous angels will you bring me?
To sing a song of rest upon me,
As their downy wings caress my face as I fall into their soft alabaster arms onto thy rest.
Or fate, sweet fate, will you bring me devils?
With wicked flames to lick and devour my flesh,
As I scream in torment a most vivid living hell.
For if I jump I will burn,
Because jumping is the prefix to burning.
As the abyss is never as empty as it seems,
For devils bring emptiness in their eyes to temp us mortals to leap to our demise.
When bones do break and tears do fall
The devils dance and angels fall,
I find myself once more upon the grassy brink.
Will I leap or continue to fall?
Rose Woman
She lays naked on a bed of roses.
Her dark hair entwines with their thorns.
Her lips, parted like the sweetest bud.
They are just as soft and as rare.
Her eyes shine like tear drops of dew,
Just as deep and twice as blue.
To every man a woman is a rose,
Delicate and beautiful with deadly poison thorns.
The Lake
Standing alone in the desolate place,
Gazing at my image upon the frozen lake,
I quiver beneath my bodice as the snow burns my skin.
I see a blacken shape appear beneath the ice,
Its hair flows free about its face
And deathly staring eyes.
I emit a gasp and break the ice
Freeing the dammed soul.
Her hand reached out and took my wrist,
And in one pull it was done,
Because that is when I met my fate,
By the lake so long ago.
Love: the Death of Souls and Sanity
My heart leaps, the pounding about my ears and chest fills me with such nauseating joy
That butterflies rebound themselves against my innards.
Is this love? Or a strange maddening disease which has been inflicted upon me by another person?
For if love existed would we be so quick to tangle ourselves in the presence of another?
To wear masks of joy and prospect when all we feel is death,
Death, loneliness and despair, the only true emotions that a true human can feel.
Not love,
Love in all its sickeningly sweet dreadful glory.
Forcing us to sell our souls to mortal devils who would see us fall and perish all in the name of love.
But who could we live without love, and the way it makes our lives feel desired and priceless?
How it makes every black, dismal and curse ridden day more bearable, liveable.
If love is to both heal and destroy us why we were not warned?
Warned against such foolish actions and emotions such as love, joy and attachment.
Instead of allowing us to become mindless creations obsessed with causing ourselves heartache.
Why allow us to continue the torment of love?
To seek refuge in mortal gods who would eventually harm us for their own enjoyment and wellbeing.
Are we mad? As love is the only madness that could infect the sanest of people.
Friday, 25 March 2011
Stress! Stress! Stress!
I've been sitting here for half an hour starting and restarting this blog.
Blogging + A Foul Mood = No Blog Ideas
I'm just going to blog about work like I usually do on here and then go do stuff.
Well I have given myself another week to officially finish the first novel of the Princosa series. And I mean finish, finish as in proof read and everything. Then it shall be off to an agent. Yippee! Gone forever! I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that. Aw well...there is always the sequel. But yeah I'm going to do a lot of work tonight once I get my bedroom organised. I need to resort my library and everything, which I am kinda looking forward too which is a little sad.
Oh! And I received this wonderful piece of artwork from HAPPYWISE in Indonesia of Kitsune from my shorts series.
The first ever piece of "fan art" drawn of one of my characters! It really brightened up my dreadful day. I dont care if it is big headed of me to post about it on my blog. It made me happy and I dont care.
R.
Blogging + A Foul Mood = No Blog Ideas
I'm just going to blog about work like I usually do on here and then go do stuff.
Well I have given myself another week to officially finish the first novel of the Princosa series. And I mean finish, finish as in proof read and everything. Then it shall be off to an agent. Yippee! Gone forever! I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that. Aw well...there is always the sequel. But yeah I'm going to do a lot of work tonight once I get my bedroom organised. I need to resort my library and everything, which I am kinda looking forward too which is a little sad.
Oh! And I received this wonderful piece of artwork from HAPPYWISE in Indonesia of Kitsune from my shorts series.
The first ever piece of "fan art" drawn of one of my characters! It really brightened up my dreadful day. I dont care if it is big headed of me to post about it on my blog. It made me happy and I dont care.
R.
Thursday, 27 January 2011
I'm Back!
I've decided to start blogging again for the millionth time. I should really learn to stick with these things. Most of the time I jump from one blogging site to another posting random blogs until I get bored, quit blogging and then start again on another site. So I am going to make this my proper one. No more hoping around the Internet for me. (Yeah even I don't believe me)
So I've been a seriously lazy writer lately and I mean more lazy than what I usually am, which is pretty bad. I have been working on the development of Maglish though which is at least something. I need to get back into writing properly again. I'll probably get back into the swing of things once I am back at university on Monday and I have an actual schedule. Maglish is coming along pretty well though. The grammatical rules are more concrete now it is just a case of building up the general vocabulary.
(In case anyone didn't know Maglish is my own personal language I made up myself to use in my novels and short stories)
On the good news front I haven't broken any of my new years resolutions yet. I've been behaving myself by not eating that much junk food and I have even dropped a jeans size. Yeah...I've been a fricken angel this year. I just have to get something published this year and I will be happy. It shouldn't be so hard right? (famous last words....)
Well I think that is all I have to say for today.
R.
So I've been a seriously lazy writer lately and I mean more lazy than what I usually am, which is pretty bad. I have been working on the development of Maglish though which is at least something. I need to get back into writing properly again. I'll probably get back into the swing of things once I am back at university on Monday and I have an actual schedule. Maglish is coming along pretty well though. The grammatical rules are more concrete now it is just a case of building up the general vocabulary.
(In case anyone didn't know Maglish is my own personal language I made up myself to use in my novels and short stories)
On the good news front I haven't broken any of my new years resolutions yet. I've been behaving myself by not eating that much junk food and I have even dropped a jeans size. Yeah...I've been a fricken angel this year. I just have to get something published this year and I will be happy. It shouldn't be so hard right? (famous last words....)
Well I think that is all I have to say for today.
R.